It takes a village

It is no secret that being a Mom is damn hard.  I have managed to keep a kid alive and (relatively) unscathed now for 4 years.  Honestly, there are times I think this achievement warrants a parade hosted by Al Roker (the jolly plump Al Roker and not the skinny creepy Al Roker)….ok, or maybe just a bottle of wine, a massage and a chance to read my kindle without locking myself in the bathroom.  The early days with Kennedy were rough.  She didn’t sleep…like, at all.  It was brutal.  One of my saving graces was meeting a group of amazing women who also had babies the same age as my screaming/shitting/up all night bundle of joy.  4 years later and we are still thick as thieves.  

I cannot tell you how important these women have been to me.  As a mother you need someone to call when you are ready to throw your kid out the window.  A friend that knows the appropriate response to that call is to drop by with wine and chocolate…and not knock on the door with CPS.  I love my non-mom friends, but there is only so much snot/shit/breast feeding talk they can take.  Especially my gays.  There is nothing worse that following-up their hot “drunk making out with a drag queen” story with your tale of leaking breast milk through your shirt in line at Target…where you may or may not have been buying hemorrhoid cream (BTW just goggled hemorrhoid to see how to spell it.  DO NOT do a Google image search…you cannot unsee that shit, yikes!).  You may think that your husband/partner/baby daddy can fill those shoes, but I am telling you from experience that he cannot.  Listen, I know it is hard to imagine, but at some point you may want to have sex with this person again.  Why not let someone else be your outlet for all of that saggy boob and vaginal dryness chit-chat?  Trust me; your marriage will be better for it.

Finding these Mom friends is way harder that one would think.  In my experience, Moms (especially new Moms) tend to put on a front and are reluctant to admit that sometimes being a Mom is swallowing them whole.  Visit a playgroup and you will drown in “I only feed organic”…”I have been on a preschool wait-list since conception”…”my 3 day old can read and is fluent in Chinese”.   Ladies, ladies, why the competition?  You cannot honestly tell me that you rolled out of bed from that drunken sexy-time with your hubby to dial the local A-list Montessori preschool.   It just did not happen and if it did, honestly I am really worried.  

Finding quality Mom friends is hard and takes an excessive vetting process, but it is so worth it.  It takes a village.  Build one with women who you can be yourself around.  I thank my Mommy friends for sharing this journey with me.  We say it all the time, but we are better Mothers because we have each other to lean on. 

My wish is that every Mom out there has the same support system.

SUP….my adventure Stand-Up Paddle Boarding.

I have been talking about trying stand-up paddle boarding for AGES and finally did it this weekend.  I started off in the bay.  Yes I feel off my board and I could weave a tall tale about the GIGANTIC wave that took me out (you saw the Perfect Storm, right), but truth be told it was the wake of a boat that put me in the drink.  You may be thinking that this post is about what a great core workout paddle boarding is…yadda, yadda, yadda, but isn’t.  This post is all about being bad-ass!

Before I started on this journey there is NO WAY I would have tried paddle boarding.  Here is a short list of the reasons that I was always a Land Lover:

• Can I do it?
• If I fall (inevitable) will I be able to get myself back on the board?
• I will have to wear a swimsuit (sadly, this is probably the biggest).
• Will I be mistaken for a wayward manatee?  Will PETA try to rescue me?

Things have changed.  I have changed.  I know that I am strong and I have worked really hard to get where I am today.  Seeing pounds drop off the scale is wonderful.  Buying smaller jeans is terrific.  Compliments are super fun.  NOTHING compares to being able to accomplish something that your weight kept you from doing.  

These accomplishments don’t have to be “marathon” caliber.  Do you want to hang upside-down on the monkey bars with your kid?  Do you want to do a cartwheel again? Do you want to swim?  What have you always wanted to do and what is holding you back?  

My wish for you is that you can do something that makes you feel like a total bad-ass.  Get out there!

Numbers….getting real.

I stepped on the scale this morning and saw that I have gained 4 pounds.  Before I stepped on the scale I was feeling pretty good.  After I stepped on the scale I felt defeated.  For me, the chain of events that happen after a bump in weight goes as follow:

1. I am a whale
2.  I am PMSing….totally water weight
3. I have been doing a ton of strength training….4 pounds of pure muscle, bitches
4. Get the eating under control. You know you have been eating BREAD and sneaking chocolate (see PMSing above)
5. I need to skip breakfast and run to the nearest spin class
6. WTF are you doing?!

Sound familiar?  I know enough to know weight fluctuations happen normally and the number on the scale is one of the worst measures of health.  Does that stop me….hell no.  I am a woman.  It is my right to be irrational!

This morning’s process got me thinking about numbers.  I read a fantastic article (http://www.curvygirlguide.com/self-body/self/women-getting-real-about-weight/) about what weight looks like on different women/body types.  Scroll through….some really great perspective.  So, in the spirit of full disclosure here are my numbers (because we are all in this together, right).

Weight: 178-174 pounds (238 lbs at my highest)

Height: 5’10”

Size: 10

There it is, there you have it.  Those are my numbers.  I refuse to let these numbers define me. Moving forward my goal is to focus on the numbers that really matter.  

How many times did I kiss my daughter today? 

How many times have I told my husband and family how much I love them and truly appreciate them? 

How many times I have hugged a friend when she really needed it? 

How many times I can say that my body can do something that it previously couldn’t (I am looking at you, pull-up!)?

These are the things that really matter in life.

Be happy and healthy, my friends.

The "D" Word

That’s right, ladies….we are talking about DIET!  I get asked a lot about what “diet” I used to drop the 50 pounds.  The truth is I think that diets are ridiculously lame.  No one can live their entire lives on a “diet”.  An entire life without cake or pizza is not a life worth living.  I have an AA “one meal at a time” view to eating.  I try to make the best decisions I can, but if I have a hamburger (ok, and probably some fries) all is not lost.  I did not fall off a wagon and more importantly I did not fail.  

For argument’s sake, let’s say that you did go on a super-strict paleo diet (no grains, dairy, refined sugar and you have to wear a loin cloth).  You will lose weight, but how long can you keep it up?  If you are anything like me, the minute my goal is in eyesight I start to binge on everything that I have deprived myself of.  Why not take a more realistic approach?  It will take longer to drop the pounds, but I promise that you will be happier and that the changes will stick.  Take themes (i.e. unprocessed food, limited refined carbs and protein) from your favorite diets and apply the 80/20 rule. 

You are not a contestant on the Biggest Loser.  You are building a healthy lifestyle…be happy.

The 7 P’s

My Husband has millions of sayings (business cheese, as I like to mock it), but one of his favorites is the 7 P’s (Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance).  He typically dusts off this gem when I am not prepared and I have to resist the urge to give him the middle finger.  As much as I hate to admit it, he is right and especially when it comes to eating.  The 7 P’s are critical in maintaining a healthy diet.  

I don’t know about you, but when I haven’t planned meals my “go to” quick take out is always total crap (pizza, Thai food, ect).  Over the weekend I didn’t eat breakfast and it was almost 2:00 by the time we had a chance to grab lunch.  I was STRAVING and inhaled a burrito.  If I would have taken the time to go grocery shopping and planned I am confident that I would have made better choices.  

Here are a few planning tips to help you keep on track:

• Plan and grocery shop for at least 3 home cooked dinners at the beginning of each week.  If you have a plan it will simplify your grocery shopping and (hopefully) your evenings.
•  Plan quick lunches.  Here are a few of my favs: 
•  Chicken apple sausage and wilted spinach (one pan, super fast and breaks up the salad monotony)
• Cottage cheese and fruit
• Salads (make 2-3 at a time to grab on the go)
•  Tuna salad (can of tuna, little olive oil or mustard and capers…perfect pantry lunch)
•  Pack snacks.  We do it for our kids, why not ourselves.  On a typical day I have almonds (love the Trader Joes “just a handful of almonds” packs), water, Lara Bars and fruit. 
• Stock your fridge and pantry with healthy snacks

I am starting off this Monday with a plan.  What is your nutrition plan for the week? 

Little Things

The Monday morning life-change…we have all been there.  I am going to binge on pizza, ice cream and wine all weekend because on Monday, it is SO on.  I am going to eat nothing but celery and work out constantly.  Facing that challenge head on is nearly impossible.  By Wednesday 98% of us take a header off the wagon and then the cycle starts all over again.  I say, let’s kick the Monday curse and be realistic.  Starting RIGHT NOW I am going to focus on drinking more water.  Doesn’t seem so bad, does it?  Before you know it you are reaching for your water bottle without thinking about it.  

Here are some little changes that will add up to a healthier you:  

Get more sleep (studies have shown that sleep deprivation can sabotage your weight loss: http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/lose-weight-while-sleeping)

Drink more water (add a little lemon if you are feeling feisty…lemon is also a diuretic and helps eliminate bloat)

Take a quality multi vitamin

Stand up straight and engage your abs (you will instantly look better)

Take as many steps as possible (park in the furthest spot, take the stairs, walk over and have a conversation with your coworker instead of sending an email)

Stretch every day

Run around the playground with your kid (instead of fondling your phone)

Cook at home and eat dinner at the table (perfect opportunity to catch up on who got in trouble at preschool today)

Replace your afternoon chocolate fix with fruit

These are just a few ideas.  What little change are you going to tackle?  

Remember, keep it simple and consistent.